Shine

At the start of this new year, this song is repeating in my head:

We are not what we should be
We haven’t sought what we should seek
We’ve seen Your glory, Lord, but looked away
Our hearts are bent, our eyes are dim
Our finest works are stained with sin
And emptiness has shadowed all our ways

Jesus Christ, shine into our night
Drive our dark away
Till Your glory fills our eyes
Jesus Christ, shine into our night
Bind us to Your cross, where we find life

Still we often go astray
We chase the world, forget Your grace
But You have never failed to bring us back
Reveal the depths of what You’ve done
The death You died, the vict’ry won
You made a way for us to know Your love

(You can hear it here.)

I think this could seem a little downcast.  But these words fill me with hope.  I'm not beating myself up, I'm confessing what I know to be true.  I've seen God's glory in my life. I know every day that He's with me, but there have been those few special times when I've been convinced to my very core that God IS, and that He's here with me. 

And I've looked away.  Nothing huge, people.  There is no grisly confession coming.  But with everyday choices that center on me and not on Him, I look away.  And that is not good.

I've forgotten His grace, that is my only hope.

And He's made a way back to Him.

I love the plea that He shine into the darkness we choose to live in until "his glory fills our eyes."

I want to pray:  Jesus, help me be what I should be.  Help me seek what I should seek.  And I will.  But the important part isn't that Jesus helps me to change.  It is that Jesus would be THE shining light in my life, filling my eyes with His glory.

In this season of new hopes and fresh starts, this is my prayer:  Jesus, shine into my dark.

P.S.  I'm not a mushy-gushy kind of person.  I revel in practicality and efficiency.  Sometimes this kind of abstract thinking seems to be a little... flopsy.  But I am more and more convinced that Jesus is what's real and forever and shoes/dirtydishes/bills/hairtrauma/clutter are so light and momentary.  I want to be in the real.