Oct 17, 2011

hair HELP!

My Lucy has great hair.  Anyone who knows me knows that big hair is a huge (alas, unattainable, despite many hair products) dream of mine, and I'm so happy for Lucy that she has such beautiful hair!

But let's get down to the nitty gritty.  It's HARD to detangle and take care of!  It wasn't at first, but I'm at the point where I need help!  Tonight, we detangled and she cried pitifully and then angrily and I cried desperately and then chopped off some tangled curls.  It's true.  I have no idea how it will look when it dries.

I'll tell you what I do now and PLEASE give suggestions... methods, products, tranquilizers.  I'll take all advice under consideration.  If you don't want to comment it here, please email me at kristy.northcutt@gmail.com.

Okay, we wash and detangle once a week.  I spray down her hair, put her in a bumbo, put a snack on the tray, toys within reach, and Dora on TV.  I'm really trying to keep her happy!  Then I spray down her hair and put in TONS of conditioner.  I start working through it with my hands, finger detangling.  Usually when that's done, I go through it with a comb (this illicits many tears).  This takes a half-hour or so.  Then we take a bath.  Where there are many more tears.  This girl can't STAND water in her face.  She screams like I'm abusing her when I lean her back on a little foam wedge to rinse her hair (and I'm careful to have very shallow water (not near her face) AND to rinse it away from her face so she doesn't get wet).  Just the act of reclining in the tub is treason and when she's that upset, I'm upset, too! (So bath-time tips are appreciated as well).

During the week, I just use one a Just for Me (Walmart) hair conditioning lotion and spray conditioner, I kind of alternate.  But her hair felt really dry today, so I'm totally open for product suggestions, too.

It seems like a little thing, but it's SO hard to gear up to actually work on her hair because I know it hurts her and I hate that!  Poor thing--she's too young to be paying the price for her rockin' hair!  Thanks for listening and for ADVICE!


  1. Aunt Bonnie's vote--take her to a salon, have it trimmed shorter until she's older and up to the "detangling." She'll be just as beautiful with slightly shorter hair and you'll both be happier.

  2. No... DON'T cut it! Her hair seems so much looser than Eva's and we don't have near the problems you do, but that's probably because she's a baby. I don't like the Just for Me products from walmart at all. I have tried to like them, but I just don't! :o) My best tips, that I do in the morning and evening, and even after her nap are...
    -I take a good conditioner, like pantene relaxed and natural, put a dab on my hands with a little water, add work it through.
    -Then I take my FAVORITE product, marguerite's magic by carol's daughter and work it through her hair. this stuff is AWESOME, it's $17 for a tub, but lasts us about 6-8 months!
    -Once I've done those two steps her hair is pretty much detangled by just using my fingers, and I add a coconut oil/beeswax/olive oil mixture that my mom makes for added moisture and shine.
    Eva's hair is VERY dry and super tight curls. I NEVER EVER brush or comb it. Every once in a while when she is in the tub and her hair is soaked with water and conditioner I will carefully use a pick-comb, but that's maybe once a month tops!
    About every other night I put some big twists in Eva's hair to help stretch it out and keep those tangles away. But, she's 3 and will sit and let me do it.
    It took me 14 months to finally have my routine down for her hair, it's so much trial and error. And I know I do completely different things than Julie does for Lola Joy, but it's worth a try! :o) Good luck, you're doing a great job!!!

  3. Hey, I'm a friend of Jenn Sutton's and she asked me to share what we do for our little almost-two year old Ethiopian sweetie. We're a CCI family too!

    For the longest time I finger detangled, and she cried every time. It was tough, and I knew there were tangles I wasn't getting. So I can relate to your struggle.

    My favorite resource is happygirlhair.com. You'll find everything you need to know there! Between the tips I've gotten from that site and from a couple of other African-American mommies and mommies of Ethiopian girls, here's what we're doing now.

    Our sweetie gets a bath two or three times a week. Every single bath we use conditioner (and soap, of course, but that's another topic). We've used Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Moisturizing Conditioner all along, and we love it. I never rinse it out, I always just rub it into her scalp and through her hair and then leave it in. Once a week, or sometimes less if her hair seems dry (like it will in the winter!) I put Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo in before the conditioner, and I do rinse that out. We got them from amazon, and the same bottles have lasted us more than a year -- a worthwhile investment!

    Every morning and also after naps I use a spray bottle with half olive oil and half water in it and spritz her hair with it. Then I put some kind of conditioning lotion in it. We've tried a few that we like. My favorite is Alaffia Shea and Virgin Coconut Enriching Hair Lotion. I think I'll also try Madagascar Vanilla Styling Creme. I try to stick with shampoos, conditioners and lotions that are all natural, with no alcohols or artificial ingredients that would just dry out her hair more. They're usually more expensive and aren't as easily found at stores like Walmart.

    Okay, so after the spray bottle and the conditioning hair lotion, I use a tangle teezer INSTEAD of finger detangling. I'm telling you, we went from crying every time I finger detangled her hair to singing happy songs while I quickly, easily and painlessly combed through her tangles with the tangle teezer. You've GOT to get one. It's fantastic. You can find it online or at Sally's Beauty Supply.

    Hope that helps! God bless you and Lucy!

  4. A few other natural conditioning lotions, in case you want to shop around...

    Blended Beauty Curly Cake Shake
    Qhemet Alma & Olive Heavy Creme
    Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    or just plain coconut oil!

  5. You guys are WONDERFUL :) I just placed an (obscene) order from Amazon... can't wait to get some of these goodies! Thanks for the support--Lucy and I are a little more relaxed about her hair future :)

  6. Can't wait to hear how it all works, and now I gotta get a tangle teezer! :o)

  7. I have tried all of the products and combos and routines. It took time to figure out what worked for us. I finally learned that step one is relax! Us mommies put way too much pressure on ourselves. Some more practical tips...I find it easier to comb when it is wet. I also have found that a pick or very wide tooth comb makes it much easier. Starting at the ends and working to the scalp is helpful as well. I use olive oil based shampoo and conditioner. I also use some sort of moisturizer when it dries. When she has enough hair to put it up, you won't have to detangle nearly as much! My children took a long time to get used to the water. Maybe you could just let her be in the water sometimes to play without all the 'bath' routine and water in the face. I promise it becomes second nature! I would be more than willing to come over and help you figure out a new routine one night! -Mariah