Jun 30, 2012

imbalanced?

In honor of my 100th post, I wanted to do something special.  One blog featured a list of 100 facts about the author.  I'm not sure that any of you are just dying to see that happen, but I did like the list idea. 

Also, I fell down yesterday at Zumba.  All the way, sprawled in the floor, please-don't-sashay-on-me down.  Luckily, my face was so red already from working it that no one could see that I was embarrassed.  I fall down on a semi-regular basis, so I wasn't mortified, but it made me think about some really note-worthy falls in my past.  So, here you have it--my list.

Kristy's Top 10 Falls

10.  Falling down whilst standing still.  This has happened several times, once this past year at work.  Standing still... lump in the floor.  It happens quickly!

9. Falling over a curb.  I was days from leaving for my court date with Lucy.  I stuck something in my ear (DON'T do that!) and popped my eardrum.  Then I was panicked--could I fly with a ruptured ear drum?  I rushed to a clinic to check with the doctor about what I should do.  In my despair and haste, I tripped over a parking curb on the way in.  I skinned my knee.  There was blood.  By the time I was called back to see the nurse, I just kind of cried on her for a bit.  Then she cried with me (happy about my adoption) and then the doctor said it would all be fine.  And I went after my Lucy!

 8. Falling while rollerblading. In high school I dated my neighbor, and got very outdoorsy to spend time with him. He was chasing me on rollerblades, and I wiped out. I don't know how my hands missed the memo, but they didn't catch me at all. So I kind of caught myself with my face. I scraped the skin off of my chin, I was covered in grass clippings, and I literally had to go inside and brush the blacktop off of my front teeth. (How could he not be impressed with such moves?)

7. Falling wearing heelies. Yes, heelies. The shoes with a wheel in the heel that pre-adolescent boys sport? Yes, those. I had the brilliant idea that I could wear those out with John and then just hang onto his power wheelchair and he could pull me around. It would be so cool! Or would have been. Those things are a liiiiitle tricky, and there was definite falling down and a bit of being drug by the chair. So I gave up. I feel that heelies are totally under-utilized by adults.  And should come with directions.

6.  Falling off a motorcycle taxi in Thailand.  I fell right off the back, and got all scraped up, dirty, and burned by the muffler.  This was on my way the first time I was supposed to teach at the Well.  I walked in the door, determined to be tough, and crumpled at the kind concern they showed.  I kind of blubbered out, "I'm hurt," and they swarmed around me and took care of me.  (As usual, I was the one learning instead of teaching).

5.  Falling up onto a curb in Egypt.  This was a doozy.  I had to wear long (ankle-length) skirts and I was walking along this super crowded street and I my supervisor and I were the only Westerners in sight and were pretty much a spectacle to start with.  Then I thought I'd just "hop" up onto the sidewalk.  Well, whenever I undertake to "hop" it means trouble (like my mother).  So I hopped  and my feet got all tangled up in my long skirt and didn't make it back to the ground.  So I basically jumped up and hurled myself onto the sidewalk.  My supervisor was so nice, I had to just tell him, "Don't be so nice or I'll cry.  Kindly make fun of me!"

4. Falling on the deck of a pirate ship. I was on a day cruise during my Mexico semester and the waiters were all dressed as pirates. We were playing this game where when the announcer said a certain thing you danced, or leap-frogged, or jumped into his arms... He went faster and faster and I jumped into my trusty pirate's arms only to find he'd moved on to the next move... so I jumped up and landed flat on my back. Another "hurling myself"kind of situation. Oh dear.

3. Falling at the movies. This happened in high school, but it is so memorable because a very loud movie patron at the end of the row kindly shouted out "TIMBER" as I fell across several peoples' laps and spilled popcorn on those unfortunate enough to sit in front of me.

2. Falling in the redlight district. I fell on the uneven sidewalk in one of the bar areas we hung out in (for ministry, people). The kicker is that I didn't realize until I got home (nd my roommate laughed and possibly pointed) that I had split my pants. And I'd walked and ridden the skytrain and then walked some more to get home.

1. BKK pole dance? My number one fall was in Bangkok, and was in the few days after the runner up (redlight distrct/pants split fall). I was bummed about falling all the time and the sidewalks there are treacherous, and I was determined that I would look down at all times to keep an eye on the terrain and avoid future falls. I was walking along, eyes on the ground, when I walked full-force into a pole hanging from an awning. The round end of it hit me right betweent the eyes, and sent me sprawling backwards. I was crying and laughing and then crying some more because it hurt SO badly but it was SO funny! Susan was there and was trying to be sympathetic, but I'm sure it was a funny sight. Walking walking BAM!


Are these genes something I really want to pass on? And people wonder why I adopted! :)

P.S.  I've since counted and this isn't my 100th post.  Oops!

2 comments:

  1. Oh friend! I read these with tears running down my face, trying not to wake my family with peels of laughter! OHHHH how I love you my friend! Thankful for a post on YOU. Miss you!

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  2. I love it! I fell off a motorcycle taxi right before Jack was born. I got off of the motorcycle at Emporium, took one step and just fell flat on my face. Maybe there was a hole? Probably not. I fall down a lot, too.

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